Written October 2014

We were asked to be a Nielsen family.

My id was looking forward to my wife and I representing 50,000 people.  We are older and Mensans.  We could keep Honey Boo Boo off the air and let Naked Dating have another season.  We had rumors of sponsors sending free samples to families to get them to watch their commercials.  Greed and power were within our grasp.

Then my superego and Brooke started researching the realities and logistics of having a monitored media opinion.  While I expected a box quickly attached to either outside of the cable box or the TV the true story was there were complicated installations that took hours.  They would inventory the house for other media outlets like computers.

There would be both gadgetry and log books.  I had heard that there was a small stipend (around $50/month).  I did not want to turn my escape from job hunting into work.

We adopted a pregnant cat.

A lady in our neighborhood rescued a small gray tabby.  My wife saw the notice in the subdivision newsletter and agreed to take the cat.  After a week Arye started to show she was in a family way.

When she guessed that the cat was ready to deliver Brooke started to bring the future mama into our bed.  One Saturday morning we were awakened by Arye meowing and delivering kittens.  In less than a hour 5 kittens were born on our bed.

For the next three days I slept on the couch.  I didn’t want to toss and turn onto the new family.

Last week I got a call from Robert Half to come in and talk about possible opportunities.  I tried to call her back all week to no avail.  I finally reached her yesterday.  We made an appointment for 10 AM today.  She sent me an email giving me the directions and what I’d need to bring.

The email said I needed my resume (obviously) and the two other forms filled out and printed.  One was a reference contact info sheet (reasonable) and something they called the candidate testimonial sheet.  She stressed on the phone that I should take some time on it because that what she used to riff on when talking to employers.  It also said to dress professionally (suit).

I fill out the reference form and work on my testimonial.  The jist was supposed to be about what value I bring to the company.  I had to have 3 beers before I could even attempt to answer that question.  I have a lousy self-image.  I shine if I can talk mainly about work.  I know the nerdy things I’ve done but I never paid attention to what value it was to the company.

I showed it to Brooke and she rewrote it to answer the question.  The forms were printed out and put into a folio.  When I got there the woman asked if I was still on probation from a 30 year old DUI.  What really stung was she didn’t know what a mainframe was.

I’m reminded of the story of the famous sailor that was tired of the sea.  He put an oar on his shoulder and started walking inland.  He stopped his journey when someone asked what the stick he was carrying was used for.

I’ve heard that story told as a tall tale like Pecos Bill and as a Greek myth.  I suppose it could have been worse.  She might have asked what the Houston Chronicle was.

I have 2 reasons for my hiatus.  First I got a job a few weeks after I posted the Hostgator interview.  That took me away from working on the computer for 6 months.  After I was terminated my wife’s computer went belly-up and I lent her mine because it had Office 2003.  Second blog hasn’t come up on the task picker.

I have a Dell from IRC but it has Vista on it.  The only reason I keep it around is that it has Photoshop CS ( no number ) and Office 2007.  I have to watch the disk space because it has a 75 GB drive.  I use the flash drive on the router a lot.  It has 3 keys missing from cats running over it.(T,Y,right arrow).

About the job,  Softlayer Technologies hired me as a Customer Service Technician.  In English I was Level 1 phone support.  During my two-week training period I listened in on a total of 4 calls.  Everybody I know will tell you that I am not a phone person.  I think I am going to die from a heart attack because my phone rings.  I would expect a zombie attack before someone will call me.

I was not good at my job.  I could do the technical stuff but I could not deal with difficult customers and most of them were difficult.  Management would schedule me for extra coaching and I got better after the sessions but they would schedule them and then cancel them.  I got to where I didn’t like the job but I wasn’t going to quit.  I felt I was smart enough to get better.  They terminated me May 23, 2013.

Lifehacker has come up on the task picker a couple of times since the last post.  They are quoting celebrities and studies that show periods of boredom, idleness, and procrastination improve decision making.

I love this! I am usually parked in front of cable TV putting off working on the ‘puter, putting my genius-clocked mind in idle, and watching mildly boring programs.  Now I can give the reason that I’m making a clear sky of my mind for an idea to strike.

I scan a page of Lifehacker in blog view every day.  They show products, tips, and websites that might give me a path to follow after I’ve sent out my resumes.  Today they put out a tip that I should repost my resume every few days.  I’ll try that Sunday.  Yesterday I made a 15-second pitch for what I do because of Lifehacker tip.

The  tip said to start with a headline that would fit into a tweet.  This is great for me because I speak in short sentences.  Hence I’m easily interrupted.  After the headline come up with 3 supporting benefits.  I read that has bullet points I can riff with.

I came up with this:

I manipulate or find software to solve your computer problem.

Methodology

Value

Local

I haven’t had a chance to try it out but it’s in the back of my mind now.

I ran across an article about the habits of effective job-seekers on Linked-in.  This bugs the hell out of me because don’t they have to be effective job-losers to get good at finding a new job?

The unemployment rate has fallen so much that Texas can stop paying extended unemployment benefits.  This hits me hard; they stopped paying me. April 30 was my last check.

I had a plan to use one of my last checks to put a new battery in the car and then drive it to Payne’s to see why it got hot last year.  Today I called AAA and had them test the battery.  The guy got it started and said the old batter only had one volt left but at least the alternator is good.  The new one cost $100.

I added water and ran the car for about ten minutes.  It didn’t get above median temp so tomorrow I aired up the tires and drove it to SRO that night.  Discount Tires showed me that one of the tires was showing the metal on the side.  The next day I bought a used tire and put in $20 worth of gas.

I drove it for less than a week and it started overheating again.  I started it and watched the engine this time.  The radiator had a hole at the top.  I researched leak products hoping I wouldn’t have to replace the radiator.  I even talked to my brother about it.  I didn’t get any major negative feedback so I bought some.  I started it up again and the hole had grown to two one-inch slits.  I’ve called my mechanic and his estimate is $380; not much as car repairs go but depressing when you have only $12 in your account.

It’s been a emotionally draining week.

The week before our oldest cat had been uncharacterstically gregarious.  She was around 14 years old.  She wasn’t showing the usual signs of a sick cat until Monday morning.  I reached over to pet her and she meowed like she was in pain.

I got Brooke and she agreed that the cat was very sick, literally last legs sick.  The poor thing could barely walk.  We agreed that we should let her die at home without being poked and prodded before being put down.  She seemed comforted by us being near.

We went through our day checking on her.  She slept most of the day.  Around 5 PM I heard a meow that I didn’t recognize.  I checked on her and she had used her last bit of strength to get off the bed.  I found her on the floor.  I put a shirt under her so she could maybe catch my scent.  I watched her for 10 agonizing minutes as she jerked her legs around.  I don’t think she was in pain because she didn’t make a sound.

The next time I’m going to go with my instinct and have an animal put down.

Little did I know that I came close to having to make that decision.  Late Tuesday night one of our twin white fluffy cats  came out of her hiding place and jumped in my lap.  This cat did look sick.  She was thin and hadn’t cleaned herself.  She tried to go back under the love seat but my wife got to her.

She died in her arms about a half hour later.

My wife had taken care of the senior cat’s remains Tuesday so she was too upset to deal with the white one.  I had a devil of a time trying to get Pet Cremation Services(PCS) to answer the door.  I had forgotten my phone so I went home to look them up on the web and call them.

They don’t answer the phone as PCS.  But I made sure they were open and drove over there again.  It’s not that bad because I’m about two miles away.  I get there and the door is still locked and nobody’s answering the bell.

I assume they are on the way so I go to the Dairy Queen across the street to watch for them driving in.  I finish my burrito and try again.  The door is still locked but luckily the lady came out of the office so I could give her the corpse.

We’ll get the ashes and an urn by Tuesday.

I was expecting an email from USCC giving me his location on Thursday.  I emailed the guy on Friday to make sure he remembered me.  Unfortunately he took Good Friday off and sent me a automated reply.

I checked my email Monday morning around 10.  On non-trivia days I check my mail once a day in the morning.  That way I have an idea how my day will go.  I’ll admit that 99.9 percent of the time nothing actionable comes in. But I’ve read articles that you should budget your email time.

The USCC guy sent me an email at 12:30 PM Monday trying to schedule me for 8 AM Tuesday.  I didn’t know this until 9:45 AM yesterday.  All is not lost, he said another round of interview is scheduled for the end of this week and the beginning of the next one.

I’ve had to change my computer habits anyway because the Texas Workforce Commission now wants proof of my job search.  Every two weeks I have to mail them a hard copy form listing at least 3 contacts a week.  The spaces are way too small for the information they want.  I would need much smaller penmanship to fit a legible name, address, and phone number of a business in a 4″ x .5″ space.

I used to check all my websites and look for jobs from my bedside laptop.  Since I have to write stuff I have to go to my room to look for work.  A good thing about this is I actually read and kill more emails out of the Juno account.